Whedoned features dialog from Joss Whedon shows and images of the Avengers who might say it.
Photo with 26 notes
TONY: All right, hey! Hooray! Good job, guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just… take a day. Have y’ever tried shawarma? There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I dunno what it is, but I wanna try it.
THOR: We’re not finished yet.
TONY: … and then shawarma after?
— The Avengers
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JAYNE: You don’t pay me to talk pretty. Just because Kaylee gets lubed up over some big-city dandy doesn’t mean…
MAL: Walk away from this table. Right now.
SIMON: What do you pay him for?
MAL: What?
SIMON: I was just wondering what his job is—on the ship.
MAL: Public relations.
— Firefly, “Serenity” (1.1)
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MAL: Kaylee, what in the sphincter of hell are you playing at? We got the Primary Buffer —
KAYLEE: Everything’s shiny, Cap’n. Not to fret.
MAL: You told me — You told me the entry couplings would hold for another week!
KAYLEE: That was six months ago, cap’n.
— Serenity
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MAL: So…I’ve given Jayne here the job of finding out.
JAYNE: He was non-specific as to how.
MAL: Now you only gotta scare him.
JAYNE: Pain is scary…
— Firefly, “Serenity” (1.1)
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DOBSON: Drop that firearm, Captain Reynolds.
MAL: This is not my best day ever.
— Firefly, “Serenity” (1.1)
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SONNY RHODES: I don’t care
I’m still free
you can’t take the sky from me
— Firefly, “The Ballad of Serenity”
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MAL: Zoe, the ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don’t hear from me within the hour… You take this ship, and you come and you rescue me.
ZOE: What? And risk my ship?
MAL: I mean it. It’s cold out there. I don’t wanna get left.
— Serenity
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MR. UNIVERSE: Oh, this is good. this is… she’s beating up all the burly men and I’m having a catharsis, it’s happening right now, you guys always bring me the very best violence. You think you’re in a hot place?
— Serenity (Shooting Script)
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SIMON: I thought she was getting better.
JAYNE: And I thought they was getting off. Didn’t we have an intricate plan on how they was gonna be not here anymore?
KAYLEE: We couldn’t leave them now.
JAYNE: No. Now that she’s a killer woman we ought to be bringin’ her tea and dumplings.
— Serenity
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SIMON: River… I’m sorry…
RIVER: No. No.
SIMON: I hate to… leave…
RIVER: You won’t. You take care of me, Simon. You’ve always taken care of me. My turn.
— Serenity
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MAL: We’re as ghosts in this. Won’t but rattle the floor.
JAYNE: Shiny. Let’s be bad guys.
— Serenity
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MAL: Shepherd! Don’t move.
BOOK: Won’t go far.
MAL: Shouldn’t’ve been you. Alliance should’ve hit us. They should’ve hit me.
BOOK: That crossed my mind. … I shot him down.
MAL: Yeah. I seen.
BOOK: I killed the ship that killed us. Not very Christian of me.
MAL: You did what’s right.
BOOK: Coming from you, that means almost nothing.
— Serenity
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EARLY: I only hurt people because they keep getting in the way of me finding you. Tell her.
SIMON: What am I? Your advocate?
EARLY: You are starting now.
SIMON: He’s really very… gentle… and fuzzy. We’re becoming fast friends.
— Firefly, “Objects in Space” (1.14)
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MAL: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket—
INARA: Mal! What are you doing here.
MAL: Well, you invited me.
INARA: I never thought for a second you’d be stupid enough to come.
— Serenity (The Big Damn Movie)
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MAL: You send word to Patience?
WASH: Ain’t heard back yet. Didn’t she shoot you one time?
MAL: Everybody’s makin’ a fuss.
— Firefly, “Serenity” (1.1)
Companion to this entry. Because I like to beat jokes like dead horses.
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