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BUFFY: Giles, are you breaking up with your car?
GILES: Well, the damn thing did seduce me. All red and sporty.
BUFFY: Little two-door tramp.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Real Me” (5.2)
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BUFFY: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school.
XANDER: Hey, that’s a plan. ‘Cause a lot of schools aren’t on Hellmouths.
WILLOW: Maybe you could blow something up. They’re really strict about that.
BUFFY: I was aiming for a subtle approach, like excessive not studying.
GILES: The earth is doomed.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Harvest” (1.2)
XANDER: See, it’s the eye-patch thing.
BUFFY: Right, do you go with the full black secret agent look —
WILLOW: Or the puffy shirt pirate-slash-poet feel. Sensitive yet manly…
XANDER: Now you’re gettin’ a little renaissance fair on me.
BUFFY: It’s a fine line.
GILES: The earth is definitely doomed.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Chosen” (7.22)
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GILES: All right… and the girl was holding a box. Nothing else? Well, it certainly could be one of your prophecy dreams, or it could just be the eternal mystery that is your brain. I’ll check it out, let you know if I come up with anything. Bye.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Hush” (4.10)
[Credit to drst.]
Photoset with 4 notes
COLONEL McNAMARA: Got some nerve, lady.
BUFFY: You’ve got to listen.
McNAMARA: You think you and your friends can just keep waltzing into a government installation, brandishing weapons like, like—
WILLOW: It’s a gourd.
GILES: Magic gourd.
McNAMARA: What kind of freaks are you people?
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Primeval” (4.21)
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GILES: Our task now is to determine what sort of killer we’re dealing with- Clearly we’re looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.
OZ: Present. Hey. I may be a cold blooded jelly donut - but my timing’s impeccable.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Beauty and the Beasts” (3.4)
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XANDER: Something about the demon?
GILES: Local villagers near the volcano site make reference to the legend of “Olukai”, that may be a bastardization of “Olvikan”.
XANDER: Who’s Olvikan?
GILES: I know it’s a demon, a very old one… I might have a picture.
XANDER: Boy, it’s a good thing no one ever wanted to check any of these books out, huh?
GILES: Yes, very convenient… ah.
XANDER: Come on, Olvikan. Hey… We’re gonna need a bigger boat…
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Graduation Day, Part One” (3.21)
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DARK WILLOW: It’s about the power. And there’s no one in the world with the power to stop me now.
GILES: I’d like to test that theory.
(end; next episode)
DARK WILLOW: Uh oh. Daddy’s home… I’m in wicked trouble now.
GILES: You’ve no idea.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Two to Go” and “Grave” (6.21, 6.22)
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ETHAN: Oh, bugger! I thought you’d gone!
GILES: Ethan Rayne. You have no idea how much thrashing you is gonna improve my day.
ETHAN: No, no, no! Wait! Hang on! You-you can beat the crap out of me. Go ahead, I can’t stop you! Or-or you can listen to what I have to say. Find out what’s going on.
GILES: What are you talking about?
ETHAN: Something bad is happening. Bad for both of us.
GILES: Bad for you.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “A New Man” (4.12)
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GILES: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
CORDELIA: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Killed By Death” (2.18)
GILES: Well, now I know I’m back in America
as I’ve been knocked unconscious. Thank you.
BUFFY: Aw. Poor lumpy Giles.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Flooded” (6.4)
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GILES: I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, in fact I encourage you to always challenge me when you feel it’s appropriate; you should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “I Only Have Eyes for You” (2.19)
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BUFFY: Have I ever let you down?
GILES: Do you want me to answer that or should I just glare?
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Dark Age” (2.8)
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