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OZ: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
CORDELIA: What’s the difference?
OZ: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, Less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it’s chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Dead Man’s Party” (3.2)
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WILLOW: Do you think he’s dead?
BUFFY: We can’t be sure. Pick up the pieces and keep them separate.
CORDELIA: Pieces? We get the pieces. Our job sucks!
OZ: Uh… Arm.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Innocence” (2.14)
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GROOSALUGG: You and I have fought side by side on more than one occasion — fellow warriors, shoulder to shoulder. By now, my counsel must assuredly hold weight, so I beseech you to heed my words… “Pomegranate Mist” is the wrong colorfor this room.
FRED: We were just thinking… Well, I was thinking and Groo agreed… That, well, since we have to repaint your room anyway, maybe you’d like a change. Y’know, for a change.
ANGEL: Groo agreed?
CORDELIA: Don’t mock. He’s actually got a surprisingly good color sense.
GROOSALUGG: “Sunburst splendor” is a hue more worthy of a champion.
— Angel, “The Price” (3.19)
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CORDELIA: Oh, look, it’s the Three Musketeers.
BUFFY: Was that an insult?
XANDER: Kinda lacked punch.
WILLOW: The Three Musketeers were cool.
CORDELIA: I see your point.
XANDER: I woulda gone with Stooges.
CORDELIA: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “When She Was Bad” (2.1)
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CORDELIA: Damn it, Xander, what’s going on? Who died and made you Elvis?
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered” (2.16)
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CORDELIA: [cutting Groo’s hair] Oh, wait. It’s not like your strength is in your hair, or anything like that, right?
GROOSALUG: No. I believe it is in my muscles.
— Angel, “Couplet” (3.14)
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ANGEL: Russell Winters.
WINTERS: You made a very big mistake coming here.
CORDELIA: You don’t know who he is, do you? Oh boy. You’re about to get your ass kicked.
— Angel, “City Of” (1.1)
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ANGEL: Now, why don’t we all sit down together and process this?
LITTLE TONY: Seems that sensitivity training I paid for really took, huh, Nancy Boy?
KATE: How do you think that makes me feel?
ANGEL: Okay, now I’m feeling unheard. You know, Anthony you could be a rainbow and not a painbow. I mean, it really is all up to you.
ANGEL: No, you.
KATE: Come here.
CORDELIA: Ugh. Anyone for vomit?
— Angel, “Sense and Sensitivity” (1.6)
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GUY: Turns out, she’s a hooker and her pimp here is giving me a hard time.
CORDELIA: That’s it!
DOYLE: Down, Cord.
CORDELIA: Did you hear what he just said about me?
DOYLE: Everyone just simmer down here, okay? Violence isn’t going to solve a thing here. [headbutts guy] On the other hand it is kind of festive.
— Angel, “Lonely Hearts” (1.2)
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PENN: What? You don’t drink, so now no one gets to?
ANGEL: I don’t expect you to understand.
PENN: Oh, I – I understand. I was a Puritan, remember?
ANGEL: It’s gotta end.
PENN: Why? - Because you say so? And how does that work exactly? You just wake up one morning and decide ‘Okay, now I’m good!’ No, Angelus, it doesn’t end. It never, ever ends. It just goes on and on.
CORDELIA: That’s not the only thing that goes on and on. Here, dust him.
ANGEL: I’m sorry for what I did to you, Penn, for what I turned you into.
PENN: First class killer? An Artist? A bold re-interpreter of the form?
ANGEL: Try cheesy hack. Look at you. You’ve been getting back at your father for over 200 years. It’s pathetic and cliched. Probably got a killer shrine on your wall, huh? News clippings, magazine articles, maybe a few candles? Oh, you are so prosaic.
— Angel: The Series, “Somnambulist” (1.11)
[Jeremy Renner plays both Penn and Hawkeye, and Hawkeye used to be a bad guy, so I thought this kind of fit. —E]
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XANDER: Someone’s gotta watch her back.
CORDELIA: Yeah, well, I’ve seen you watch her back.
XANDER: What is that supposed to mean?
CORDELIA: Well, I was using the phrase ‘watch her back’ as a euphemism for ‘looking at her butt.’ You know, sort of a pun.
XANDER: Oh! Right. Hey!
CORDELIA: Well, you do.
CORDELIA: Fine. Watch my back. (leaves)
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Killed by Death” (2.18)
[Have you guys ever noticed there are a lot of shots of people facing away from the camera in this trailer? Just sayin’ — E]
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ANGEL: You’re acting?
CORDELIA: Can you believe it? I mean I just started it to make some quick cash, and then boom, it was like my life! So are you still – grrr?
ANGEL: Yeah, there’s not actually a cure for that.
CORDELIA: Right. But you’re not evil, I mean your not here to bite people?
ANGEL: No, I’m here with a friend.
CORDELIA: Oh, good. Well, it was nice seeing you, but I’ve got to get mingly. I really should be talking to people that are somebody.
ANGEL: It’s nice that she’s grown as a person.
— Angel, City Of (1.1)