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WORLD SECURITY COUNCIL: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
NICK FURY: I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.
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LOKI: Enough! I am a god, you green ugly creature! And I will not be bullied by you!
HULK: [Smashes] Puny god.
— The Avengers
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Putting this one under a spoiler cut, for those poor souls who haven’t seen the movie yet. … Or the myriad of gifs on tumblr.
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MR. MACCLAY: This is insane. You people have no right to interfere with Tara’s affairs. We … are her blood kin! Who the hell are you?
BUFFY: We’re family.
DONNY: Daaad. You — you gonna let ‘em just… Tara, if you don’t get in that car, I swear by god I will beat you down.
XANDER: And I swear by your full and manly beard, you’re gonna break something trying.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Family” (5.6)
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Buffy, Xander and Willow go to see the Avengers.
Eeeee!
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Full cast list for “The Avengers” was released. It includes some familiar names.
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ETHAN: Sweet child. Now, this may sting a little just at first. But don’t worry, that’ll go away once the searing pain kicks in. You can go ahead and scream if you like.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Dark Age” (2.8)
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PRINCIPAL SNYDER: Wait up, you guys! Hey! You guys aren’t trying to ditch me, are ya?
OZ: We should find Giles. He’ll know what’s going on, right?
BUFFY: Sure. Except for all we know, he’s sweet sixteen again.
WILLOW: He’s with your mom at his place.
SNYDER: I said, wait up!
OZ: Uh, Snyder…
BUFFY: No time. He’s coming with us.
SNYDER: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Band Candy” (3.6)
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PRINCIPAL WOOD: Welcome to Sunnydale High. There’s no running in the halls, no yelling, no gum-chewing. Apart from that, there’s only one rule: if they move, kill them.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Chosen” (7.22)
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FREDDY: Murder? What murder? You’re not here about the review?
OZ: The review?
FREDDY: Yeah. Last Thursday.
OZ: [reads] Dingoes Ate My Baby play their instruments as if they have plump polish sausages taped to their fingers.
FREDDY: Sorry man.
OZ: No, it’s fair.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Earshot” (3.18)
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BUFFY: Everybody, this is Rona.
POTENTIALS, XANDER, and ANDREW: Hey, Rona.
RONA: Um… why is that guy [Andrew] tied to a chair?
XANDER: The question you’ll soon be asking is, “Why isn’t he gagged?”
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Showtime” (7.11)
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BUFFY: Okay, first of all, what’s with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge! Now, we can do this the hard way, or… well, actually there’s just the hard way.
DARLA: That’s fine with me!
BUFFY: Are you sure? Now, this in not gonna be pretty. We’re talking violence, strong language, adult content… [Dusts Thomas] See what happens when you roughhouse?
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Welcome to the Hellmouth” (1.1)
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BUFFY: Willow’s in heaven and Oz has this really cool house off campus with the band.
XANDER: And you’re sitting here alone at the Bronze looking like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy.
BUFFY: It’s just… there was this vampire, and she took me down, and I just… I don’t know how to stop her.
XANDER: Then where’s the gang? Avengers assemble! Let’s get it going!
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Freshman” (4.1)
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ANYA: All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me.
XANDER: Be still my heart. Oh wait, it is. How come I got the short straw?
ANYA: You’re not quite as obnoxious as most of the alpha males around here. Plus I know you don’t have a date.
XANDER: I haven’t settled on anyone yet.
ANYA: Fine. Look, I know you find me attractive. I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
XANDER: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.
ANYA: Whatever. Look, do you wanna go with me or not?
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Prom” (3.20)
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GILES: Now tell me about this review. No one said anything to me about this.
TRAVERS: Let’s sit down and talk about it over here.
GILES: [to rest of the Watchers] You all stand around and look somber. Good job.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Checkpoint” (5.12)
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