Whedoned features dialog from Joss Whedon shows and images of the Avengers who might say it.
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PUPPET ANGEL: I went over to Smile Time last night, and I think their office is under some kind of spell. I could feel it trying to get at me. I—I shook it off, but then I met this guy with a towel over his head, and something exploded! I woke up like this. Ugh.
— Angel, “Smile Time” (5.14)
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BUFFY: I always say patrol’s not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers.
ANGEL: I’m sure I saw him come down here.
BUFFY: Couldn’t we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was this big.
ANGEL: What can I say? I need closure.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Prom” (3.20)
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![BUFFY: Angel, better put on your game face.
ANGEL: [Vampire face] I’m ready.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Prophecy Girl” (1.12)](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15e3kEp211r54awgo1_500.jpg)
BUFFY: Angel, better put on your game face.
ANGEL: [Vampire face] I’m ready.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Prophecy Girl” (1.12)
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GROOSALUGG: You and I have fought side by side on more than one occasion — fellow warriors, shoulder to shoulder. By now, my counsel must assuredly hold weight, so I beseech you to heed my words… “Pomegranate Mist” is the wrong colorfor this room.
ANGEL: What?
FRED: We were just thinking… Well, I was thinking and Groo agreed… That, well, since we have to repaint your room anyway, maybe you’d like a change. Y’know, for a change.
ANGEL: Groo agreed?
CORDELIA: Don’t mock. He’s actually got a surprisingly good color sense.
GROOSALUGG: “Sunburst splendor” is a hue more worthy of a champion.
— Angel, “The Price” (3.19)
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![ANGEL: Where is he? Where is this demon you worship?
WILSON: Even if we did tell you where to find him, it wouldn’t matter, since you’re about to have an accident. [shoots Angel repeatedly]
ANGEL: [vampire face] I really don’t like it when people shoot me. Now you’re going to tell me what I need to know.
— Angel, “Expecting” (1.12)](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0abwo3cwp1r54awgo1_500.jpg)
ANGEL: Where is he? Where is this demon you worship?
WILSON: Even if we did tell you where to find him, it wouldn’t matter, since you’re about to have an accident. [shoots Angel repeatedly]
ANGEL: [vampire face] I really don’t like it when people shoot me. Now you’re going to tell me what I need to know.
— Angel, “Expecting” (1.12)
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ANGEL: So, ah… So, you don’t wanna talk to me?
FRED: I can’t, huh?
ANGEL: Why won’t you?
FRED: Because you’re not real. Or I’m not real. Somebody here isn’t real. And I suspect it’s you. So if you’re not real, that means that my head came off back there and that I’m dead now. Dead. And with me being dead and you not being real I can hardly be expected to have some big conversation with you at the moment, because it’s just a little too much pressure, alright?!
— Angel, “Through the Looking Glass” (2.21)
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![POLO PUPPET: I’m gonna tear you a new puppet hole, bitch!… So… you got a little demon in you.
ANGEL PUPPET: I got a lot of demon in me. [Puppet vampire face] Now, come on!
— Angel, “Smile Time” (5.14)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m01a3n29K01r54awgo1_400.jpg)
POLO PUPPET: I’m gonna tear you a new puppet hole, bitch!… So… you got a little demon in you.
ANGEL PUPPET: I got a lot of demon in me. [Puppet vampire face] Now, come on!
— Angel, “Smile Time” (5.14)
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![GWEN RAIDEN: I expect to get screwed. Professional thief. Hazard of the biz.
ELLIOT: [scared] Just wait a second, please…
GWEN: What I don’t appreciate, Elliot, is being called a freak! That’s my word. And I get cranky when people like you use it.
ANGEL: Gwen, think about this…
GWEN: Ever been struck by lightning, Elliot? I’ve been struck by lightning 14 times. It’s not my fault. I just attract it. You know what else attracts lightning? Maggoty little norms like you.
— Angel, “Ground State” (4.2)](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzgcgwLht81r54awgo1_500.jpg)
GWEN RAIDEN: I expect to get screwed. Professional thief. Hazard of the biz.
ELLIOT: [scared] Just wait a second, please…
GWEN: What I don’t appreciate, Elliot, is being called a freak! That’s my word. And I get cranky when people like you use it.
ANGEL: Gwen, think about this…
GWEN: Ever been struck by lightning, Elliot? I’ve been struck by lightning 14 times. It’s not my fault. I just attract it. You know what else attracts lightning? Maggoty little norms like you.
— Angel, “Ground State” (4.2)
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![RUSSELL WINTERS: We don’t have to go around attacking each other. Look at me: I pay my taxes. I keep my name out of the paper, and I don’t make waves. And in return I can so anything I want!
ANGEL: Really. Can you fly? [kicks him out a window] Hmm. Guess not.
— Angel, “City Of” (1.1)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2vjl1Ayq1r54awgo1_500.jpg)
RUSSELL WINTERS: We don’t have to go around attacking each other. Look at me: I pay my taxes. I keep my name out of the paper, and I don’t make waves. And in return I can so anything I want!
ANGEL: Really. Can you fly? [kicks him out a window] Hmm. Guess not.
— Angel, “City Of” (1.1)
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BUFFY: The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice. Not exactly the evening we were aiming for.
ANGEL: You’re in danger. You know what the ring means?
BUFFY: I just killed a Super Bowl champ?
ANGEL: I’m serious! You should go home and wait until you hear from me.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “What’s My Line?, Part 1” (2.9)
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ANGEL: Russell Winters.
CORDELIA: Angel?
WINTERS: You made a very big mistake coming here.
CORDELIA: You don’t know who he is, do you? Oh boy. You’re about to get your ass kicked.
— Angel, “City Of” (1.1)
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![ANDREW: Spike?
SPIKE: Oh for the love of—
ANDREW: Spike? It’s you! It’s really you! My therapist thought I was holding onto false hope, but… I knew you’d come back. You’re like… you’re like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. [Hugs him] Ohh… he’s alive, Frodo. He’s alive.
ANGEL: You two know each other?
ANDREW: Uh, yeah. Um… We—we saved the world together. I mean, Buffy helped, but… it was mostly us.
— Angel, “Damage” (5.11)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyh3w6D2qI1r54awgo1_500.jpg)
ANDREW: Spike?
SPIKE: Oh for the love of—
ANDREW: Spike? It’s you! It’s really you! My therapist thought I was holding onto false hope, but… I knew you’d come back. You’re like… you’re like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. [Hugs him] Ohh… he’s alive, Frodo. He’s alive.
ANGEL: You two know each other?
ANDREW: Uh, yeah. Um… We—we saved the world together. I mean, Buffy helped, but… it was mostly us.
— Angel, “Damage” (5.11)
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![ANGEL: Where is she [Darla]?
WESLEY: She got away.
GUNN: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but…
— Angel, “Offspring” (3.7)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyd2rqNuE31r54awgo1_500.jpg)
ANGEL: Where is she [Darla]?
WESLEY: She got away.
GUNN: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but…
— Angel, “Offspring” (3.7)
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![[The Beast has slaughtered dozens of people.]
LORNE: Ooh, uh, I’m gonna need a bigger arrow.
— Angel, “Apocalypse, Nowish” (4.7)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxn7zxklMC1r54awgo1_500.jpg)
[The Beast has slaughtered dozens of people.]
LORNE: Ooh, uh, I’m gonna need a bigger arrow.
— Angel, “Apocalypse, Nowish” (4.7)
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These Would Be Too Easy
This blog is about putting Whedonverse dialogue in the mouths of the Avengers. But sometimes those wacky writers put Avengers dialogue in the mouths of Whedonverse characters. Here are five examples of my world gone backwards.
BUFFY: It’s just… there was this vampire, and she took me down, and I just… I don’t know how to stop her.
XANDER: Then where’s the gang? Avengers assemble! Let’s get it going!
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Freshman” (4.1), when Buffy is beaten by college vampire Sunday, Xander gives her a Dadaist pep talk.
LILAH: You know, Angel, coming from you, idle threats are so…. well, idle.
ANGEL: You remember when I ripped your car in half?
LILAH: Yeah, yeah, Hulk smash…
— Angel, “Supersymmetry” (4.5), Angel threatens Lilah and she’s deeply unimpressed.
XANDER: Okay, we were supposed to hook up with Riley this morning, to take on a nest o’vamps holed up in a tomb? So we get there, and guess what? Tell him, Will.
WILLOW: Tomb go boom.
XANDER: Yep. Captain America blowed it up real good. All by his lone wolf lonesome.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Shadow” (5.8), Riley has thrown a grenade into a nest of vampires without telling the gang.
WILLOW: I wanna be there for Buffy.
XANDER: You’re right. The avengers gotta get with the assembly. We’ll go. We’ll deal. We’ll help. That’s what we do. We help Buffy.
— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Body” (5.16), Buffy’s friends want to help after her mother dies but they are unsure how.
HODGE: I’m telling you, he’s [Angel] some sort of super soldier, like Steve Rogers or Captain America.
SPINELLI: Steve Rogers is Captain America, you eightball.
HODGE: What!?
— Angel, “Why We Fight” (5.13), in a WWII flashback, Angel has been sent to submarine that was carrying vampires (including Spike) that attacked the crew.
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